Behind these eyes
by Heel Princess
Summary: Katia and Randy have been fooling around for almost 2 years but she wants more. Will she find it? and can randy handel it?oc randy john jericho and more. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE! :
1. The eyes are the window to the soul

**So this is another story taht just came to me. I actually wrote this in my third level english class.lol. anyway let me know what you guys think of it. Maybe it will go as well as the last story that randomly came to me Turning the Page who knows.

* * *

**

I came out from under the covers.

"Woof baby that was amazing."

"Uh huh." I said rolling over.

"Good for you?"

"Randy what do you even know about me?" I asked suddenly as I turned on my side.

"Lots of things."

"Ok. What color are my eyes?" I squeezed them shut so he couldn't peek.

He didn't open his pretty little mouth.

I opened them.

"GREEN!" He shouts trying to make it seem as if he knew.

"You don't even know my eye colour. Randy how is it that we have been seeing each other like this for two years and you don't even know the colour of my eyes?"

"I do. Ask me something else."

I thought for a moment. "What's my middle name?"

Again silence.

"It's Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" I shouted storming out of bed.

"Katia baby come back to bed." He said patting the sheets. "What we have is good."

"Ya good for your dick!" I yelled gathering up my clothes and locking myself in the bathroom.

"Baby come on." He said pounding on the door.

"No Randy I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you!"

I sat on the porcelain toilet and thought for a minute. This thing with Randy and me seemed like it started so long ago. Two years wasn't really that long.

It all started one night when I friend of mine got me tickets to wrestling for my birthday. It was a pretty selfish gift considering he loved it and I'd never seen it in my life. I wasn't so sure what the big deal was a bunch of sweaty guys rolling around half naked with each other. That was until I saw him. Randy. He flashed me that smile ah that smile. The smile that could get him away with murder, besides his body I think that's the reason I fell in love with him. I remember how the security told me I had been invited back stage. I was instantly infatuated and it didn't take much for him to talk me into bed. The rest is history I guess. He pays for me to fly around with him, got me a cushy job doing hair and make up. We are basically glorified friends with benefits. At first I loved it, sleeping with a big star who did I not mention has the most amazing body.But I'm getting older. I mean I'll be 23 in a few weeks and I want more, no I deserve more. And if I'm not going to get it from Randy I'll find it elsewhere.

I opened the door and stuffed all my shit into my suit case and left to drag it all down the hallway to Chris's room.

Jericho being a married man made him safe. He was a good friend I could rely on and trust him without it ever being sexual.

"Kat come on now this is stupid."

"No your stupid."

"Your like a five year old."

"Would a five year old do this?" I said flipping him the bird and leaving.


	2. cleansing the soul

**So this is like the favorite chapter i have ever written ever and i think the best thing i have ever written.

* * *

**I make my routine trip down the hall to Chris's room. 

"That was quick. We've been in this town what 16 hours at the most." He says as he opens the door.

I shrug and smile.

"So who did he sleep with this time?" He asked closing the door behind him.

I plopped down onto the love seat.

It wasn't an unusual question. To say Randy and me fought a lot was an understatement. Randy well he wasn't exactly the most faithful person and who was I to say anything really? I mean its not like I was his girlfriend. _He_ never called me that anyway. No this was the normal routine I would find Randy fucking some slut get mad and come here. He would come by when he was finished, and he'd apologize. We'd go back to his room and have sex in the very place they just had and everything would be fine. Twisted I know but that was us.

"It's different this time."

"Oh?" Chris asks sitting beside me. "How so? Was it more then one this time?"

"No." I said with a slight laugh. "He wasn't fucking anyone."

"And you're angry?" Chris questioned me astonished.

"Would you just let me finish?"

"Sorry." He told me leaning his elbow on his leg and his face on his hand in attention.

"I dunno Chris. I'm just sick of this you know." I said standing up moving towards the window. "I just want more I mean I'll be 23 soon."

"Way to make a guy feel old." Chris said moving beside me.

"This is serious." I told him smacking him playfully.

"I know." He says. "And you do deserve better."

"Thanks." I said setting my suitcase down before turning to go.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I just need to get out for a bit." I wont be too late.

"Needing to go out for a bit" was actually code for a need and drink. And bad. I really needed to relax this was a hard day. I think my dependency on alcohol stems back to my childhood. Well the bit of one I did have. I had my first drink at the rip old age of 14.Whenever my deadbeat of a father would start in on my mother I would sneak down into the basement and have a beer from his personal fridge. From the first time I popped the top off that cold one I felt at ease. I couldn't hear him screaming at her and I couldn't hear her cry. I didn't have to pretend not to see her bruises and I didn't have to be alone.

I never want to see my liver.

I sit down at the nearest barstool and ordered a bloody Mary. I may have started on beer but to be perfectly honest I don't really like the stuff. Maybe it's the taste maybe it's the smell or maybe it's the memories. Whatever it is I can tolerate it but I cant drink the stuff.

I sat there drinking for hours thinking about everything. Mostly about my relationship with Randy and how maybe, just maybe the fucked up relationship of my parents had fucked up my perspective on love to. Maybe I could never love.

I was drinking drink after drink and I was really feeling the buzz. I looked around at all the blurry faces and the room started to spine. I didn't notice how tight I was holding my glass until it crushed between my fingers.

I released my grip on the glass and the fragments hit the floor. I looked down at my hand, blood was pouring out of the palm. It covered it and soon I couldn't see the colour of my skin.

I got up and tried to stagger my way to the ladies room. The swirly lights flashed around me as crowds of loud people danced to the music. I felt a hand reach out and I saw a man trying to pull me into him and the rhythm.

The loud music was making my head pound. On instinct I held my hand to my head to try and reduce the throbbing. All I did was cover my forehead in blood.

When I finally made it to the bathroom I felt weak and dizzy. I looked at the clean white walls around me. So crisp and clean. I looked down at the solid white tiles. So perfect.

I lashed out against the spotless room. I needed it to become impure, imperfect, like me eating my way out from the inside.

I rubbed my blood soaked hands all over the walls. Staining the impurity with me. Bloody handprints covered the walls. Maybe it was a release for my new begging's. Or maybe it was a mirror of what I'd been through, the horrible things I'd seen.

I rinsed the remainder of the blood off in cold water under the tap. I shut off the water and made my way back to the bar.

But as I reached out for the doorknob I suddenly felt weak. I laid my back to the door and slid down onto the cold hard floor.

That's the last thing I remember until now.

I hear a far away voice saying. "Shorty, shorty wake up." And I feel the sensation of someone lightly slapping my face.

My eyes flutter open to find myself in the arms of John Cena.

"I must be dreaming." I say out loud.

I decided since this was a dream and all why not make the best of it.

I took his face in my hand and pulled him into a kiss. Although shocked at first he started to kiss back, this was my dream after all.

I opened my eyes. Still kissing him I ran my hand down his toned back. I look at his white shirt and see it covered in my blood. Then it hit me. I remembered what had happened. I wasn't dreaming at all. I pulled back embarrassed before I passed out again.


	3. Eyes wide shut

I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine and in clothes that weren't my own. I pulled back the sheets and looked down at my hand. It was now neatly bandaged in a clean white cloth.

My eyes adjusted to the lighting and soon noticed I wasn't alone in the room. John was there sprawled out in a chair, shirtless his chest heaving up and down. My god he looked hot. Part of me just wanted to reach out and touch his toned abs, the rest of me knowing better.

I suddenly remembered what had happened earlier, I kissed him. How many times can I make a fool of my self? Randy was bad enough but now I had to explain myself macking a total stranger. Well that wasn't exactly true we hadn't been formally introduced but I mean in two years of fucking Randy it was only appropriate that I had talked to his best friend.

"Shit." I yelled as I struck my hand on the side table. I covered my mouth instantly but it was to late.

"Shorty that you?" He asked rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Ya sorry I just struck my hand that's all."

He flung his legs down from over the side of the chair and rushed over to me. "Let me see it." He said reaching for my hand.

"I'm fine really." I said reluctantly showing him my hand. "Owe." I grimaced as he touched the sore spot.

"It hurts a lot."

"Ya you cut it real deep." He said looking me in the eyes.

I felt his hot breath close to me and it was only then that I realised how close to each other we were. Our noses were almost touching. I jerked back into the bed and covered myself when I realised I was only in a little t-shirt.

"I had to change you, you were coated in blood." He smiled. "Don't worry I didn't peek." He whispered.

Stop being so fucking sexy.

"You really need to get stitches you know." John told me sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Tomorrow?" I asked.

"Sure I'll take you first thing." He said tapping my foot and started to return to the chair.

I could kick myself for what I said next.

"Wait this is your house and your bed you shouldn't have to sleep in a chair."

"It's fine."

"No it's not we can share a bed, I mean it's massive." I said patting the bed. I bet he was massive. Stop it. "I mean were adults."

"True." He said slipping into bed beside me.

This was going to be one long night. I glued my eyes shut even though I knew I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon.


	4. fire in their eyes

"Owe, Ouch!!" I screamed sitting in the doctor's office.

"He hasn't even touched you yet." John said laughing.

"I know just practicing."

I watched the needled go in and out slowly stitching my hand back together again. If only it was this easy to put myself back together.

"All done." The doctor said as he moved back allowing me slide of the table.

"You want to get something to eat?" I asked John. "Its on me."

"After watching that?"

"What's wrong weak stomach champ?" I said laughing gabbing him in the ribs with my elbow.

"Naw I should just be getting you back to Randy that's all. He must be worried sick, his hot ass girlfriend didn't come home."

Did he just call me hot?

"Doubt it."

"Why?"

"I left Randy yesterday." I told him jumping into the passenger's sit of his black range rover.

Why did he have to bring up Randy it had almost been 15 minutes since I thought about that ass hole.

"May I ask why?"

I turned and looked at him.

"You ever just want more?" I asked him.

"Ya."

"Well that's how it is with Randy. There's only so long that amazing sex can hold a relationship together."

"I see." He said turning his attention back to the road.

"John?"

"Ya."

"I don't want to leave."

"Who said you had to?" John asked looking at me momentarily.

"I don't have many friends here."

"You've got me." He said smiling. "And now your fucking stuck with me."

I laughed. What girl in her right mind wouldn't want to be stuck with John Cena or stuck to him for that matter?

"So if you left Randy where is your stuff?" He asked.

"Shit!" I yelled "Chris"

"Huh?"

I explained how I had left all my stuff there and he must be worried sick.

"We'll swing by on our way to lunch." John said turning down the opposite road on which we had planned to go.

When we pulled up I saw a man going berserk I could only assume it was Chris. As we got closer I could tell that it indeed was him and he was running around frantically begging people to look at a photo.

I got out of the car and started to walk up to him but he was so distracted he didn't even notice me.

"Have you seen this women?" He barked at a man shaking the picture. The man simply pointed at me.

Chris turned. "Oh my god baby!" He said running at me.

John shot me a dirty look.

"Don't ever scare me like that again."

I hugged him back.

"Chill Chris I passed out and woke up in Cena's bed no big deal."

It was Chris's turn to shoot me the dirty look. I thought about what I had just said.

"Shit. That came out wrong. It wasn't like that Chris he was just taking care of me."

"I'll take care of him alright." Chris said rolling up his sleeves.


	5. hungry eyes

I don't understand how 2 people can get so close in a mer week but it's possible. John and I have been inseparable in the past week. Things couldn't get any better I mean he's the best friend I've never had and I haven't had to see Randy in a whole week.

Some how I didn't think things we're going to stay that way for long because we are both scheduled to be a Raw tomorrow.

On the downside of this whole thing I think my vibrator will soon combust. The one thing I do miss about Randy is the regular sex. But now I'd grown accustomed to it and without it I think I should own some stock in Energizer.

"There's absolutely nothing on." John bellowed from the living room of the suit.

I sat down next to him and retrieved the remote. Exchanging it with him for popcorn.

"Wow there really isn't anything on."

"Nope. I think I'm just going to head to the shower." He said.

"And leave me here all alone." I said pouting making the puppy dogface.

"We'll I guess you could join me." He said winking.

Oh god how I wanted to. We flirted like this all the time but he really needs to stop teasing me. I'm horny and lonely don't fuck with me motherfucker.

He laughed it off and went into the bathroom.

It wasn't long until I heard the bathroom door fly open.

"Hey Katia do you have anymore towels?" He asked me as I turned around.

There he was dripping with water nothing covering him but a tiny white towel.

"Um ya-ya-I-I-I do." I stammered trying to control myself.

I hurried off to find the towels. I definitely needed one for the drool collecting in my mouth.

I handed him the towel and he wiped his face. "Thanks." He said running it over his wet hair.

I just stood there unable to keep myself from staring at the beads of water on his chest.

"You ok?"

I shook my head. "No."

"What's wrong is it anything I can help you with?"

I hate loaded questions!

"Yes." I said softly.

"Ok what is it?"

"This." I told him moving in a running my hand down his wet body kissing him.

God he felt as good as he looked.

He pulled back from me. "What was that all about?"

"I want you." I said not being able to believe those words had just come from my lips.

"Wow that was unexpected." John said running his hand down the back of his head.

My face flushed red with embarrassment. He didn't feel the same.

"I'm sorry, pretend that didn't happen." I said turning to go tears stinging my eyes.

"Wow shorty hold up." He said pulling me back.

"I didn't say I didn't like it." I smiled. "It's just a little quick don't you think."

"Not when I can't be in the same room with you without wanting to jump your bones."

He grinned.

"Oh so I have that big of an affect on you huh?"

"I guess so."

"Well what if I did this?" He said pulling me closer to him. His erection brushing against my thigh.

"I'd say don't tease me."

"Would dream of it." John said placing his mouth on the hot skin of my neck. I arched my back and moaned trying to get even closer to him. My moan seemed to turn him on more as he yanked my hair back and pushed his lips down the front of my neck, then my shoulders and my color bone.

He lifted my t-shirt over my head and threw it down on the floor. He picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist carrying me over to the large bed.

I pulled back the towel to reveal the rest of his god like body; I couldn't resist running my hand down his chest and continuing down to his manhood. He let out a slit grunt before he went back to kissing me.

I placed soft kisses on his hard jaw line as his nibbled at my ear.

"Oh god John." I cried out. My ear was my spot and now he knew it to.

In one swift motion he had undone my belt and my pants.

"You like that." He said in a saucy tone, his mouth never leaving my ear.

"Mmmm." I moaned raising my back off the bed so I could wiggle out of my jeans. I silently cursed my self for wearing such tight pants.

Once my pants were off it didn't take long for Johns hand to find its way into my panties. His thumb made soft circle on my swollen nub. My hips bucked on instinct matching his rhythm, trying to ride out my orgasm.

"Not yet." He whispered removing my underwear completely. I took it as a sign that it was his turn. I manoeuvred my self on top and started to slowly go down on him. I teased his penis with my tongue only licking at the sides not placing the whole thing in my mouth just yet.

"Fuck baby." He cried out.

I knew I was good at this Randy always said I gave the best head.

I lightly sucked on the tip, since it has the most sensitivity it always helps to focus on it. Slowly but surely the whole thing makes its way in my mouth, my head bobbing up and down on it. As much as I wanted him to come I wasn't going to let him. He didn't let me so I sure as hell wasn't letting him.

"I hate you." He mouthed as I climbed back up to meet his lips.

"You taste good." I purred

He flipped me over and balanced himself on top of me. He looked at me as if thinking before he got down off the bed.

"What's wrong?" I asked sitting up.

"I don't know this just doesn't feel right. I mean I want you, I REALLY want you…"

"Then take me." I begged.

"But your Randy's girl and he's my best friend and…"

"Cena shut up I'm not his girl we broke up remember? He should have thought about me when he fucked around on me all the time. You're not cheating on him John."

"I know it's just…"

"Just nothing…" I said moving to the edge of the bed. "Now stop being such a fucking tease and fuck me god damn it.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back on top of me. He started kissing me again and I guided him into my center.

"John." I moaned.

I closed my eyes and roamed my hands around his back and shoulders grasping for something, anything that I could hold onto. He rocked gently back and forth inside me before it turned into a violent pounding.

"John John John!" I screamed going over the edge clawing at his back

He pumped inside me a few more times before I watched his eyes roll back in his head as he filled me.

His sweaty body collapsed next to mine. I placed small kisses on the scratches I had left behind. "Randy who?" He said out loud.

"Hey isn't that my line?"


	6. your red eyes just keep my heart beating

I woke up screaming. "Mom no!"

"Baby you we're having a dream calm down." John said shaking me. "Are you ok your crying."

I touched a hand to my wet face. When would these dreams stop? It was 8 years ago and it still felt like yesterday.

I closed my eyes and I could still see all the blood, the mess in the room.

"I'm fine." I said. "Just a nightmare."

"You want to talk about it."

I shook my head. As touched as I was by him asking I didn't want to talk about. I didn't want to talk about then and I don't want to talk about it now. I never want to talk about it.

"Ok angel." He said kissing my forehead. I closed my eyes and tried to soak up this moment I felt so safe right now.

"This doesn't change anything does it?"

"What do you mean?" John asked pulling back to look at me.

"Your not going to leave me now are you?"

He wrapped his arms around me pulling him self as close to me as possible. I could feel he breath on the top of my head as he spoke.

"I'm never going to leave you." He whispered. "I love you."

I cuddled into him and started to drift back to sleep.

"Don't go back to sleep now we need to head over to the arena."

"We? Like together?"

"Ya."

"What will people say?"

"Who cares what people say. As long as were happy right?" John said smiling.

"Right." I said as I pulled myself out of bed. "As long as were happy."

I knew some one who wouldn't be happy and he rhymes with Sandy Morton.

When we arrived at the arena it was almost 3. So far so good no sign of Randy.

"You look nervous." John said as we pulled into the parking garage.

"I am nervous John."

"Stop worrying." He said placing a hand on my knee. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Ya I guess." I turned to look out the window. I wasn't sure what I was more worried about. What people would think or what Randy would think.

John got out first and opened the door for me.

"Madam." He said tipping his hat.

"Oh stop."

He took my hand and we walked together into the building. I don't think ever in my life have I looked over my shoulder so much.

"Katia!"

I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Wait up."

I turned to see Jericho running towards us.

"You scared the shit of me!"

"Sorry. Who you think I was Randy?" He asked resting his head on my shoulder.

"Actually yes." I said brushing him off.

"You need to stop worrying about that dweb."

"It's not that easy Chris."

"Why not."

"I'm worrying about John and his job."

I lied.

"Babes that's sweet but I'll be fine." John said smiling.

"I hope."

"Well I'll check you guys later." Jericho said leaving as quick as he had come.

That was close I thought. Chris easily could have been Randy.

"Well well well what do we have here?"

Please please don't be Randy.

I opened my eyes.

It was Randy. Damn it.

"What do you want Randy?"

"It seems that you move on rather quickly."

"We'll…"

John stepped up between us.

"She doesn't need to explain herself to you anymore." John said sternly.

"What's this my best friend has moved in on my girl loyal man real fucking loyal."

He pointed a finger to his chest.

" Loyalty isn't a word you of all people should throw around considering how "loyal" you were to her in the first place."

"Is that what she told ya?" Randy asked poking his head around John to look at me. "I can tell you this that's the way she liked it. She wanted me to be a man and treat her like that, it turned her on."

John grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.

"Oh what's wrong you don't like to hear that Cena? You don't want to here how I would come home from doing god knows what, to her moaning for hours."

"John don't," I scream as he swung the first punch.

Randy got up and placed a hand to his jaw smiling. He turned to go the grin still spread across his face.


	7. starting anew

I knew I hadn't seen the last of Randy in the parking garage, but I wished I had. This was my shot at love and didn't want to fuck it up and Randy could only hinder the situation.

I trailed a finger along the framed picture of John in his locker room. He was attractive and sweet and while I didn't yet love him I knew I could grow to. He was everything Randy wasn't and that's exactly how I wanted it.

"Your thinking about us aren't you?" Randy's voice boomed from the doorway.

I turned around holding my hand to my chest gasping for air.

"You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry that wasn't my intention." He said moving closer.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Cushy place he's got here." Randy told me ignoring my question. He plopped down onto the sofa and propped his legs up onto the table.

"Randy I think you should leave now."

"What's the matter afraid your boyfriend will come in."

My blood was boiling. "Randy go."

He got up fast but quickly feel back down wincing holding his back.

"Are you ok?" I asked rushing to him on instinct. "Your face." I gasped pacing a hand on the bruise that had formed there. "Does it hurt baby?"

I pulled back away from him realising what I had just said. "You should get the medics to take a look at that." I crossed my arms to shield myself from everything the past the future and the moment I was stuck in.

"Katia." He said moving closer. "Tell me you don't love me."

"I can't do that Randy."

"Why not?" He questioned.

"Because…it's one thing to lie to you, but I cant bring myself to lie to me."

I asked him to leave and he obeyed, obviously pleased with himself.

What I said was true I couldn't say I didn't love him. Truth was the past 2 years of my life all I did was love him, I didn't know how to stop. We had just broken up; the wounds were fresh and far from healed. But one thing was for sure I didn't like Randy, the way he toyed with my emotions, the cockiness, the fact that he was a blatant liar and a huge asshole. Not to mention the fact that he never loved me. So that should help myself fall out of love with him.

I was drawn to losers, it was who I was, my life was shit and I continued that pattern. Everything I had been through all the pain and torment stops now. I vow that I will stop this vicious circle and make my life everything that I want it to be, everything my childhood wasn't.

I leaned back as far as I could until I fell onto the couch drained.

"You ok baby?" John asked moving into the room. "I just saw Randy walking down the hall. He wasn't in here was he?"

I simply nodded.

"What the fuck did he want?"

"I dunno." I said quietly not looking up.

"Did he hurt you?" He asked moving towards me and lifting my chin.

Not physically.

"No."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I'm not so sure."

"Then maybe I could make it a bit better." John said softly kissing me. I relaxed into the kiss allowing the comfort I found in it to block out everything else I was feeling right now. For a moment I wasn't confused anymore I was with John, where I belonged now. He was my fresh start, my new beginning.


	8. mixed emotions

John pushed me threw the doors of the hotel room, never breaking the deep kiss we were sharing.

"I love you." He said pulling my wife beater over my head.

I ran my hand down to the front of his shorts. "I need this." I moaned.

He moved his hands up my stomach to my breasts squeezing on the sensitive flesh. I threw my head back in anticipation quickening my pace on his manhood encouraging him to continue.

He laid me gently back onto the bed. "Your stunning."

I loved how romantic he was but I needed it and I needed it badly. I pulled him down on top of me. "Now John now." I begged.

He started to place butterfly kisses over my shoulders and stomach.

"Now John." I screamed. I pulled down his shorts and guided him into me. I cried out.

"Am I hurting you?" He asked considered.

"Don't think do." I told him.

"But I don't want to cause you any pain."

"John I need the pain for the pleasure please don't stop."

He continued until we both came and he laid next to me. "I love you." He said for the second time this evening.

I knew he was fishing for me to say it but I couldn't. I simply rolled over and pretended to fall asleep.

Even making love to John couldn't keep my mind from Randy. As much as I hated the guy I missed and longed for the animalistic lust we shared, the passion in our sex. The saying is true there is a fine line between love and hate.

After I knew John was fast asleep I snuck out of bed to head to the bar. Booze was my crutch and I needed some right now.

When I got to the bar I didn't get what I expected. I went to solve a problem, or try to, but instead I was faced with another one. Randy was shit faced at the bar yelling and screaming for them to keep giving him drinks.

"Randy what are you doing?" I asked going over to wear he was.

"Is he with you?" The bartender asked.

I knew he was being a pain in his rear so I nodded and told him I'd deal with it.

"Come on Randy lets get you upstairs." I told him swinging his arm over my shoulder.

"Are-you-u gunna-a take me to b-bed." He stammered.

"Yes Randy I'm going to put you to bed."

"With you?"

"No I'm going to go back to my room."

"With John?" He asked.

"Yes with John."

I managed to get him into the elevator and prop him up. "Randy what were you thinking you never get drunk?"

"I miss you-u."

I was taken back.

"I love you Katia." He finished.

"Randy your drunk."

"No I mean it, I'm sorry I was a jerk to you but I cant stand to see you with John you belong with me. I can change please."

The elevator doors came open and I dragged him to his room. I had to be quiet because we all stayed on the same floor and Randy just happened to be staying only 2 doors down from John and me.

"Randy you need to sleep this off, if you remember this is the morning we can talk."

I closed the door and made my way back to my room to a still sleeping John. I got under the covers and tried to drift back to sleep.

I was awoken by the sound of someone knocking on my door. I looked at John he was still sleeping I swear that man could sleep through the world ending. After sex he's just out like a light. Then I turned my attention to my clock 2 am I'd only been asleep less than 2 hours.

"Katia open up."

It was Randy. I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the door flinging it open.

"Randy are you crazy?" I yelled quietly. "You could have woken John."

"I didn't?"

"No thank god he's out like a light."

"You're sleeping with him?" He slurred.

"Randy I don't really think that's any of your business. But what makes you say that."

"He was my best friend I know how he is after sex."

"Fine we're sleeping together yes."

"Does he make you moan like I do?" Randy asked inching closer to me. "Does he drive you crazy like I did?"

"Randy you should leave."

"I'm not leaving until we talk I cant sleep I need to talk about this now."

"Randy."

"Just talk to me." He pleaded.

"Ok. But make it quick." I said grabbing my robe and moving out into the hallway.

"Can we talk in private?"

"Fine Randy whatever you want just hurry up."

He lead me into his room and out onto the balcony. He leaned over the rail staring up at the sky.

"I can't stop thinking about you. About us." He said.

"We were bad news Randy." I said looking down.

"But when we were good we were real good." He said lifting my chin so his lips could meet mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck allowing him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me. He wasted no time turning and simple kiss into a heated moment.

Say my name." He demanded.

"Randy." I moaned. "Randy."

His voice grew husky as he threw me up against the wall. "Do you want me?"

"Yes Randy I want you badly."

"How badly?" He asked moving a hand between my legs.

"Bad real bad."

He began to fiercely pleasure me with his hands.

"You like that?" He asked.

"Mmmm." I moaned wrapping my legs around his waist urging him closer. "Make love to me."

He didn't ask questions he didn't even think twice before my panties were pushed to the side and he was inside me.

My back slammed up against the brick hard and fast loving every second of the hurt and bliss I was feeling.

"Who's is it?" He growled.

"Yours Randy."

He pinned my hands up over my head so I couldn't move.

"Do I get you off?"

"Oh Randy yes! Don't stop please don't stop."

He pounded into me violently until he brought me to a screaming orgasm. We collapsed in a sweaty heap in a near by lawn chair. I placed my head in the crook of his shoulder trying to control myself and realise what I had just done.


	9. salty eyes

**if your reading this lease review im begging you**

**

* * *

**I made my way back into my own room when Randy fell asleep. God help me I'd slept with him not once but numerous times. We made it off the balcony and back to the hotel room where we had sex on the floor, in the bathroom, on the table and just about every other surface possible until we made it back to the bed. I'm a horrible person, I couldn't control myself I needed it I longed for the way that only he could touch me. 

I opened the hotel room door and crept inside. John was in a peaceful slumber sprawled across the bed. I crawled in beside him and made soft circles up his back knowing it would probly be the last time I got to touch him. I cried thinking about how I could do this to such a kind man, but strangely I didn't regret what I had done. I felt guilt but no remorse.

He stirred from his sleep awaking by my touch and the loose tears the strolled down his back.

"Baby what's going on your crying." He said sitting up and thumbing a tear from my cheek.

"I'm a disgusting human being John."

"Now now, where's all this coming from tell me everything?" He said.

I braced myself to tell him the whole truth starting at the beginning. "I guess this goes way back to when I was about 15…." I started. I was determined to tell him everything things nobody knew. I told him how my father was abusive and would constantly beat my mother and scream at her. How I had starting drinking and how one morning I woke to find my father dead, his blood smeared across the walls. My mother clenching the knife rocking back and forth in the corner. It was the last straw he struck her and for once she struck back only this time she was armed. He was never going to hurt her again, of course she went mad and was locked up. And me? I left town and never looked back, I met randy when I was 21 and I never looked back.

"I'm fucked up John I don't know how to love."

"Where is all this going?

"I slept with him Johnny."

"Well you sort of did date."

"No I mean tonight, I had sex with Randy just now in his hotel room. I'm sorry."

He hung his head.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked sniffling.

"Me or him. You say him and I walk away no hard feelings. You say me and we'll put this whole thing behind us. We will stay together just like this." He said wrapping his arms around me.

I threw my arms around his neck and broke down again. "I don't know what I want John."

"Until you do I cant live like this. I love you Katia."

He kissed me on the top of the head before he walked out of the room.

I hadn't moved from my fettle position on the bed, I was still there crying when Randy walked in hours later.

"Where's John?" He asked sitting beside me on the bed.

"He left." I muttered.

"How come?" He asked gently stroking my hair.

"I told him what we did." I was sobbing loudly now.

"And he just left you? He wouldn't give you another chance? I had you for one night but unlike him I don't hold you heart forever."

"No he offered me another chance." I told him turning to face him. "But that's the probly Randy I don't know who is in my heart."

He laid down next to me and covered my hand with his. "I'm going to be here until you find out exactly who that is."

I smiled for the first time in what seemed like eternity. Maybe things could be better.


	10. Black eyes and bruises

**Ive neglected this story for to long i apologize but i have horrible writers block. review please.

* * *

**I saw John's face and hung my head. "I don't know if I can do this Randy." I told him turning to go.

"Katia." He said. "You've got to face him sometime."

I knew I had to I just didn't want to. I never wanted reality to set in I wanted to live in my dream world were I could be happy and not have to hurt some one. I realised John had seen me when we locked eyes and I saw the hurt on his face.

"Hi." I mumbled looking away.

"So is this what you want." John said jumping to the point.

I couldn't say anything, nothing made sense anymore. How could I tell him what I wanted when I didn't even know? Last night I was positive it was Randy but one look at his face and I'm not so sure.

"Tell him baby, tell him it's me you want to be with." Randy pressured me.

I stared at my feet.

"Stop putting words in her mouth. Why would she want to be with an ass-hole like you? You don't know anything about her." John spat.

"Maybe because I'm more of a man then you'll ever be, maybe because I make her scream louder then you ever have." Randy retorted.

John was seeing red and I knew it.

"Don't!" I screamed as he lunged at Randy throwing him down.

Fists were flying as Randy and John rolled around the floor kicking the crap out each other.

"Stop it you guys!" I yelled. "Please."

They weren't listening they just kept pounding on each other. Randy kicked John in the stomach before he picked him up off the ground he took at swing at him but John ducked and shoved him back against the wall continuously punching him in the face.

"John get off him." I begged coming up behind him.

Bad move. The next thing I know I get an elbow to the stomach and I'm flying back onto the floor.

"You idiots." I heard a far away voice say, I looked up and Jericho was over me.

"Are you ok?" He asked pushing back my hair. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before he picked me up and carried me to his car.

My eyes fluttered open and I could tell I was in a hospital room. I was surrounded by people.

"What's going on?" I asked sitting up. I immediately fell back down holding my head.

"Your in the hospital." Chris said rushing to my side holding my hand.

"Katia your awake." Randy said dropping the newspaper he was reading and moved to my other side. "We are so sorry baby." He told me gently kissing me on the mouth.

Then I remembered how I got here in the first place, that stupid fight in the lobby. I couldn't stand them fighting over me, I cared for both of them and I wasn't going to allow this. I didn't want to choose but I knew I had to.

"I want you to leave." I said.

John smiled. "So you've decided to be with me?"

"I want you both to leave. I am not some trophy to be fought over and I'm not going to be treated like it. Your both acting like idiots and right now I want nothing to do with either of you." I said turning my head away from them.

"Katia please." Randy started.

"Don't fight me on this." I told him. "If you love something let it go."

"But I don't want to loose you again." He said.

"Me either baby." John said.

"Please just trust me."

They both left quietly.

"So I guess it's just you and me huh?" Chris joked.

"Looks like."

"Hey I'm on TV." He said flicking the channel to Raw.

I started to cry.

"Don't cry we can watch something else."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"I don't know what to do."

"Shhhh it'll work out." He said climbing into bed with me. He wrapped an arm around me and kissed me on the top of the head. "I promise."


	11. it was right before my eyes

**Sorry this is so short but i really needed to end this i just wasnt feeling it anymore sorry. Anyways review. on an up note i can focus more on my other 2 stories without this one nagging my mind.

* * *

**"Thanks for letting me stay here with you." I said as we made our way into his apartment.

"Its not a problem." Chris said. "Stay as long as you need to."

"Things are just messed up right now." I told him.

I have no idea how things got so bad. First I'm with Randy and I can't stand it then I'm with John and the next thing I know I'm back in Randy's bed again.

I took a seat on the bed and he sat beside me. He took me in his arms and rocked me back and forth. "Everything is going to be fine ok?"

"I know."

He lifted my chin to meet his gaze and placed a sensual kiss on my lips.

"What was that?"

"Something I should have done a long time ago…"

"Chris we can't…"

"Shhhh." He said silencing me with another kiss.

Maybe I was just vulnerable but it felt so right. This moment was what I needed. I had forgotten all about John and Randy and let him comfort me.

"But your married."

"I'm leaving Jessica."

"But you were so happy."

"Not in a long time." He told me running a hand over his newly short hair. "I just don't love her anymore."

"Where do I fit in to all this?" I asked him.

"I'm in love with you."

"Oh."

"Katia all the times you and Randy would fight when he would hurt you over and over all I wanted to do was hold you and protect you. That time you didn't come home I was so worried, it was the scariest day of my life. And the first day I saw you was the happiest day of my life." He said running a hand across my face.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. "That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." I told him pushing my self on top of him.

"I don't want you to do this because of some pretty words."

"I'm doing this because I want to…I want you."

We made love for hours and I never felt like I belonged more in my whole life. Chris was there in front of me this whole time and I didn't even know it. He didn't push me, he sat back and let me be who I was until I found my way to him on my own. He looked out for me from day one without ever having to have an alterative motive.

I placed an arm on his chest. "I'm sorry." I said.

"For what?"

"Not seeing this sooner."

"You're here now, and that's all that matters." Chris said kissing me again.

It wasn't Randy, it wasn't John, and love was right in front of me in the form of the greatest man I'd ever known my best friend and now my lover.


End file.
